Hey, remember Matt Jones, the kid that played quarterback for the Arkansas Razorbacks? No? Well, remember that kid that Mel Kiper and all the draft experts said would be a great wide receiver project for some lucky NFL team? Yeah, that 6 foot 6, 4.30 forty running man-beast? That was Matt Jones. That was the guy the Jacksonville Jaguars wasted a draft pick on, as their fans wasted their hopes along with it.
Well, he's finally done something exciting with his life. Finally. But unfortunately it wasn't on the football field. There was no replay, no Al Michaels to commentate - no, but there were white powdered lines. So it's almost football related? Matt Jones was arrested early Thursday morning as police approched Jones' Toyota 4Runner for being parked in an area notorious for drug use and thefts. Jones was chopping cocaine in the vehicle with a credit card.
A credit card? Ohhh high roller. Mr. Fancy pants can't cut his cocaine like the rest of us, huh? Gotta use his credit card to show off. Know what I use my credit card for? Unlocking doors. That's what. Unlocking doors and sleeping on the couches of complete strangers. It's nothing I'm proud of, but at least I can catch a football! Take that Matt Jones.
Jake Jetson
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