Pacman Jones reinstated. Well, sorta'...

NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell has reinstated Pacman Jones...almost. Goodell has allowed Pacman to begin practicing with his new team, the Dallas Cowboys as of this week. However, Goodell is still being awful strict considering he hasn't reinstated him fully yet. Every other player that has been suspended ended up playing before the season was over, however it's still seems a tough decision to allow Pacman to play the season opener?
Goodell doesn't seem like the most limber of all people, but the way he's handling this situation makes me wonder if he wasn't stripping on the night that spawned this suspension. While he doesn't have much charisma, I bet he makes up for it with his junk in the trunk and brute strength on the pole. Go ahead - imagine it. It's completely heterosexual. Goodell, swinging on a pole - maybe in a girl scout outfit? Shaking his little thang? Doing that little dance? Well, along comes Pacman and Friends (yes, it just got hotter, right?) in their Gucci rain boots and slickers, dragging a garbage bag of singles. Before you know it, money is falling and Roger Goodell is picking it up by rolling his sweaty body around on stage - but wait a second. Pacman understands he's been fooled, starts shouting, and next thing you know - some guy is shot up. Goodell is traumatized, as he had a crush on the bouncer, whom would end up paralyzed. And what good is a flacid penis to Roger Goodell? Not very good. There's only one flacid penis Goodell likes, and that's his own, even if it's small and hides between his cheeks.
But seriously - before long we'll be hearing about how Godly Pacman is on the practice field, then we'll all watch how good he is on the football field. He's basically God in cleats. Well, if God had a terrible attitude problem, was cool with killing people, made it rain, and... wait a second. He IS God in cleats!

Jake Jetson